When the problem is not the horse: two exercises for riders who think they are not good enough

The facts

Published

14 September 2026, Your Horse, by Julie Harding

Expert

Tracey Cole, master trainer and coach in neuro-linguistic programming and hypnotherapy, specialising in equestrian clients

Background

Set up her mindset and mental performance business in 2013 after working through her own confidence problems

How she works

Training and coaching delivered by Zoom from the Staffordshire Moorlands

Kit needed for the exercises

A sheet of paper divided into two columns; the second exercise needs nothing at all

There is a difference between being nervous before a class and believing you have no business being in it. Cole's argument in the piece is that self-doubt behaves like a belief rather than a mood. The mind quietly stacks up what feels like proof over months or years, or takes one bad day and treats it as a verdict, and after that reassurance from an instructor or a partner tends to bounce straight off.

She gives two examples from her own client work, both worth recognising. One rider climbed the dressage levels until she was in company with well-known names, and started to feel she had not earned her place. Another moved her horse off a professional yard to her own setup; the horse became noticeably more forward, though not dangerous, and she concluded both that she could not ride him and that she did not deserve him. In neither case, Cole says, did the supposed evidence stand up to questioning.

The first exercise is a paper one. Write down the sentence you say about yourself, then list everything you think proves it. Against each item, put a time you rode well. Then look at each memory as a scene you are watching from outside, and ask how your own mind could have bent the story. Then step further back still, watching it from high above as if you were someone else entirely, and ask the same question about that rider down there. Anything that will not shift gets one more question: what does this actually teach you about yourself.

The second is about softening your focus. Put your arms out sideways at shoulder height and wiggle your fingers until you can just see them, which widens your field of vision. Drop the arms, hold that wide view, ask your mind what you need to learn to be rid of this doubt, then clap or click your fingers and wait. A word or an image may arrive. It may not, and Cole's line is that it can turn up later. Repeat as needed.

What this means for you

Riders who have quietly dropped a level and stayed there

If the reason you stopped entering is a sentence about yourself rather than a problem with the horse, coaching the horse will not fix it. Name the sentence first.

Anyone who has had a run of falls or a critical coach

The piece treats both as ordinary sources of self-doubt. That reframes it as something accumulated, not a permanent fact about your ability.

Owners whose horse has changed yards or workload

A horse becoming fresher and more forward after a move is normal. It is not proof that you cannot ride him, though the source is clear this is about a safe ride, not a dangerous one.

Friends and instructors of a doubting rider

Telling someone they are good rarely lands once the belief is set. Asking them what their evidence actually is will get further than praise.

What to do

1. Write your self-doubt sentence down in full, in your own words, and be honest about it

   Before your next lesson

2. Do the two-column exercise on paper: evidence on the left, a time you rode well on the right, item for item

3. Check whether your reason for not entering is about the horse's readiness or about your own worth, and separate the two before you enter or withdraw

4. Try the peripheral vision exercise somewhere safe on the ground, not mounted, until you know how it affects you

5. If the belief traces back to a fall or a coaching relationship rather than current riding, consider paid help; the source notes this expert coaches remotely by Zoom